Logistical Nightmare
by ALC Punk
Summary: Kara Thrace and Sam Anders are stuck in a difficult situation, not to mention, well, it's them. Mocking, crankiness and more ensues. Nominally part of the Wraith and Pony Show SGA crossoververse, it can be considered separate.


Disclaimer: Not mine.  
Rating: R/NC17 Sex, mockery, bad language, sex.  
Pairing: Kara Thrace/Sam Anders Length: 3,000+ Set: Er... god knows. Somewhere in season three, perhaps? I don't think there's really any spoilers.  
Notes: I blame... ok, this is really roundabout, but I blame Larrin from the SG: Atlantis episode 'Travelers', since I tried to imagine someone locking Kara and Sam up and them... Sigh. They're bad. ps. Lizardbethj, I totally have the other piece mostly finished, but editing/finishing this took too long. Maybe in the morning.

Logistical Nightmare by ALC Punk!

"I'm bored." Kara announced.

Sam looked up from where he was sitting on the floor, his back to the wall in an attempt to ease the strain in his shoulders and hands. "So?"

"So, I'm bored," she repeated. Kara was sitting, too, with her hands tied behind her back. Their captors had tied Sam's forearms as well as his hands, but had left them both free to walk around. Kara had been pacing until Sam told her to sit down or he'd trip her. She wasn't certain he wouldn't have, either. So she'd sat down, because getting more bruises would be pointless.

"And what am I supposed to do about it, Kara? We're a little locked up right now."

"You could frak me," Kara suggested, deciding that if she was going to be bored, she might as well be bored, sweaty, and satisfied.

A laugh escaped Sam, "You've got to be frakking kidding me, Kara. I have no hands."

"You have a penis and a tongue, Sam."

"Thank you. So glad to know those are my best qualities after my hands."

"Hey, I can't help it if I like those parts a lot." Kara pointed out. She wiggled her hips and then stood with a little difficulty. "Get on the bed, Sam."

"No."

"I'm not frakking you on the floor, it's cold, and my knees are sore from the last time you dumped me out of my rack."

Sam rolled his eyes and stayed where he was, "You're the one who dared me."

"I didn't think you'd do it!"

"Besides, Costanza broke your fall."

Kara glared at him. "Y'know, Sam, I'd almost forgotten that. He still isn't speaking to me, you know."

"You did kick him in the balls."

"Sam. Get on the bed."

"Why?"

"So I can unzip your pants with my mouth."

That gave Sam pause, and he eyed her in speculation. "You're serious."

"Yes, I'm serious."

"Nah." He shrugged, "You could just use your hands." He considered, "And with some maneuvering, I can probably get your pants undone--frak. Why am I thinking about this, Kara?"

"Because I'm hot, and you want to frak me while we're stuck in this boring cell."

He blinked at her, then shrugged, "You might have a point. C'mere."

"Orders, Sammy?" Kara came over and dropped unceremoniously onto his lap, wincing as she bruised her knees. Sam yelped slightly when she impacted against him. She leaned into him with a pleased sigh and then kissed his mouth.

"Don't call me Sammy," Sam mumbled against her mouth.

Kara took the opportunity to slide her tongue against his, but otherwise ignored his comment.

Eventually, Kara pulled away and said, "This is boring, Sam."

"Boring?"

"Boring."

"Well, it's not like we can do a lot, Kara," Sam pointed out, his tone infuriatingly calm, despite the fact that Kara could feel he was more than a little interested in the way she'd been wiggling against him. "Neither of us have free hands."

"You suggested using our mouths to get our clothes off." She wriggled again, smirking very smugly when he caught his breath. Hovering her lips over his, she whispered, "C'mon, Sam, don't you wanna take care of that little problem between your legs?"

"I can think cold thoughts."

She laughed, "But that would be such a waste."

"Yeah?"

Kara kissed him again, then sighed. "You said you could get my pants off."

"I said I might be able to."

"Might is better than nothing," Kara decided. She backed away, trying not to fall backwards--there was no catching herself with her hands if she fell, and bruises on top of her bruises would make escaping this stupid place more difficult. "C'mon, honey, show me what you got."

Sam blinked at her, then started laughing.

Glaring, Kara tried to prod him with her foot and missed. "What the frak, Sam?"

"This is ridiculous." He shifted away from the wall, dodging her foot.

"I want my pants off, Sam," Kara replied. She considered a moment, then let herself fall back, propping her elbows against the floor and trying to ignore the cold and the strain in her shoulders as she used one foot to pry her boot off. She was going to need the bare foot to get her pants off. Or at least one leg off.

"No. Hands."

"Use your mouth, remember?" Kara snapped.

He laughed again, but began the laborious process of standing, using the wall to brace himself. Once on his feet, he moved to the bed and sat down on the edge, looking at her. "C'mere."

Snickering, because that was not exactly a hot and heated command for sex, Kara got onto her knees and came towards him.

"If you stand, I can get your zipper. And then if you lay on the bed behind me, I might be able to work your pants down," Sam suggested, watching her with amused eyes.

"Maybe we should get your zipper first, so you have a little incentive," Kara suggested as she reached him and bent over to press her lips to the front of his trousers. She smirked as he jumped a little. "Like that idea, huh, Sam?"

"Oh, yeah." He leaned back, "Might wanna hurry. You never know how long I can stay like this."

"A really long time, if I keep teasing you," Kara threatened. She snickered, "I don't even have to tie you up myself."

Sam groaned.

Ignoring his warning, Kara carefully gripped the zipper with her lips, then tugged it down. It caught, at one point, and she released it to curse before returning to the task and tasting the metal as she bit down on it. Once the zipper was mostly down, she eyed the button, then closed her teeth over it, breaking the thread and pulling back to pop it off. Spitting it onto the floor, she smirked. "Guess you'll have to sew your button back on when we get out of here."

"Just what I've always wanted to do." Sam shifted, sliding further back onto the bed.

"That won't work. Stand up, Sam," ordered Kara, backing up and getting her feet under herself. Using the bed as leverage, she hooked her elbow and staggered to her feet.

Sam lunged forwards and up, bouncing to catch his balance. "Now what?"

Turning around, Kara backed into him, her bound hands touching his shirt before she bent her knees. Hooking her fingers in his waistband, she slowly began sliding downwards, tugging his pants off. "Never thought I'd have to strip you without watching, baby."

"It's kinda hot, honey," Sam murmured, his voice husky. He shifted his hips and turned as she grabbed a different section and worked it downwards.

After a few minutes, Kara could feel herself getting warm from the effort, and Sam gave a pleased noise as his pants finally let gravity take control and slipped down to rest against his boots. Turning, Kara eyed her handiwork and grinned. She leaned down and kissed the tip of his hardening cock before looking up at Sam. "My turn. Think you'll be able to do the same?"

"Nah. I'm not flexible enough to kiss my own penis," Sam said.

Kara blinked at him, then laughed and leaned against him. "You are such an ass," she teased, stretching up to kiss him.

"Uh-huh." He acknowledged, kissing her back.

"No idea why I still like you and want to frak you," Kara murmured, her lips moving to his neck. "Maybe I've been drugged."

"Because I can do nice things with my hands," Sam suggested.

"Your hands aren't going to be very useful to me," Kara pointed out. She nipped his shoulder, then walked around him and pressed up against his hands. "Can you unbutton me, or are your fingers numb?"

His fingers wriggled against her stomach. "I can grope you." Gripping her shirt, he leaned forward, tugging it up and trying to get it out of his way so he could touch her skin. Unfortunately, the fabric slid down when he released it, causing him to curse and Kara to snicker.

"Your hands need to go lower, Sammy."

It took him longer than it had her. Possibly because his forearms gave him no flexibility. Possibly because she was shorter, and his knees were older. Eventually, Kara's pants and underwear were on the floor and they were both soaked in the sweat from the effort of removing them. Kara leaned her forehead against his back. "Think you can make it to the bed and not fall off, Sam?"

"Uh-huh." He hopped, then shuffled carefully, not losing his balance until he was nearly there. He landed on the mattress with a thump and a growl of irritation, then rolled to look at her. "Next time, can we forget the foreplay, Kara?"

She sauntered towards him, trailing her pants. "You know me and foreplay aren't real well-acquainted, Sam." She dropped onto her knees next to him, the mattress more forgiving than the floor. "Now hold still..."

Crawling up, she kissed his stomach, then his chest and then his mouth as she swung her leg over him. It was easy to feel him, and to feel her own readiness. It was less easy to maneuver him where she needed him. Without hands, there were no fingers to push him into the correct position and Kara paused, frustrated, to glare at him.

"Having issues, baby?"

"Shut up, Sam, or I won't frak you."

He laughed, "That'd leave you all cranky and un-sexed, Kara. I don't see that happening anytime soon."

"Frak you."

"I'm waiting for exactly that."

There--Kara shifted, feeling him pop into place, then tried to pull herself up, like normal. Without her hands and arms to brace herself, it took effort, and Sam's dick slipped free. "Dammit."

Sam pushed up against her, trying to help, and Kara fell over, sputtering with laughter at the stupidity inherent in the situation. She got a mouthful of Sam's shirt for her troubles, and his chin bumped her forehead.

"This is not going to work, Kara."

"Yes it is," she insisted, her voice breathless as this time, she wriggled upright first and then worked to get him into position. She shifted, bumping him and giggled. "It's a pity it doesn't really have a mind of its own, you know."

Sam laughed. "And what would that accomplish?"

"Well, if your dick had a mind of its own, Sam, it could figure out how to do this when neither of us can use our hands," Kara pointed out, shifting until she felt him pressed against the right spot. She bounced a little, and his head slipped into her. "Although--" she dropped down, taking him fully into her with a soft little whuff, "--we don't seem to be doing too badly."

"Nope. Not bad," Sam agreed, body shifting against hers, as he tried to move.

"Gah--Sam, hold still. I'm going to fall off," Kara snapped.

"Right, right," he replied, teeth clenched against the need to move within her. "Not moving."

"Good boy." Smirking, she rocked up, then down, carefully gaging herself. Then she did it again with more confidence.

Sam groaned and she grinned down at him, smug. "This working for you?" She shifted up, then down again, trying not to lose her balance. Without her hands in front to stabilize herself, that was a little difficult.

"Frak. Yes." Sam managed, eyes dark as he stared up at her.

"Good." Trying to find a rhythm that would work for her, Kara shifted again, and started to fall forward. She jerked back, swearing.

"Ow--dammit, Kara, you're going to break something."

"Sam, I don't think I'm going to break your dick, so shut up while I try to--" She broke off, grunting when he arched up beneath her. "Not... there--" Her eyes dropped closed as she ground down against him, that little spark shooting up her spine. "Now, don't move."

"You said that before."

"I meant it, to."

Frustratingly, though, it just wasn't enough. Kara glared down at him as she tried to move without falling over, or letting him slip free--the combination was enough to do absolutely nothing for her, though Sam didn't seem to be having much of a problem. "Gods. Sam, one of us is working much harder than the other, here," she finally objected.

"Kara," Sam replied, voice a little breathless. "I can't exactly help the fact that you're hot and on top."

"So, this is my fault?" she challenged him, stopping and letting herself relax for the moment, "Because I don't think this'll work with you on top." She'd end up feeling to trapped, but she wasn't going to tell him that.

"Yeah, I know."

Kara considered for a moment, then awkwardly scrambled off of him and half-climbed, half-fell onto the floor with a curse. "Shit, this floor is freezing."

"What the frak are you doing?" Sam demanded, rolling onto his side and staring at her.

"Trying something I should have thought of earlier." Kara rolled her shoulders and then wriggled, slowly working her bound hands down under her ass.

"Hey, look," Sam said, "If it's a problem, I could--" he waggled his tongue at her

Kara snickered at him, "Wow, Sammy. Delicate of you. But, no. I'm not in the mood for that." If she ever was. Although Kara had to admit, Sam Anders was really very good with his tongue, there was something a little too intimate about the act to allow it often. Especially not now, when at any moment, their captors could decide to come interrogate their prisoners. Kara couldn't deny that the idea of being caught frakking her husband was a little bit hot. It wasn't the only reason she'd started this, though.

"Then what? I don't think my hands are up to the task."

Which was true--though he was good with his hands, even he had his limitations. Kara hissed out a breath, straining, and then her hands popped past her ass. "Ow." She muttered, feeling like she'd yanked both shoulders out of their sockets. Now, it was just a matter of leaning forward and getting her legs free.

Unfortunately, her boot caused a problem, tangling her still-dangling pants with her wrists until she cursed, and stopped.

Sam started laughing at her, "Trouble, Kara? I'd come help you, but I'm at a bit of a disadvantage."

"Don't bother," she snapped, yanking her hands free and triumphantly raising them over her head. She might still be stuck with her hands bound together, but she could see them now. And her fingers would definitely make the difference.

"I call unfair," Sam objected, eying her hands.

"They're more afraid of you, poor baby." mocked Kara, getting back onto her knees and lazily moving towards the bed. "On your back, Sammy."

"My arms are going numb," he objected.

Kara reached out and pushed at him. "Don't care."

"Bitch."

"You love me anyway," she taunted, bending to nip at his shoulder.

Sam yelped, then rolled to get away from her.

Pushing up, Kara pounced him, a little awkwardly. He bucked and nearly threw her back on the floor, but she grabbed for his shoulder, slipping a little before settling on top of him with a sigh.

"Who says I love you?"

"You do." Kara pointed out, shifting until she'd aligned their lower bodies. Her toes stroked his leg. "You still up for me, Sam?" She pressed her hip against his obvious arousal.

A groan escaped him. "I am so frakked."

"Thank the gods for that," Kara muttered, moving to straddle him. Now that she didn't have to balance without her arms, she was finding things simpler.

It was easier, this time. And with a minimum of balancing, swearing, and being annoyed at silly things like anatomy, Kara slid down onto Sam again, giving a soft sound of approval when he pressed up against her. There was still a bit of awkwardness when Kara tried to finger herself. She lost her balance and fell forward, giving Sam the chance he'd been waiting for.

Through a feat of masculine prowess, dumb luck and sheer Sam Anders determination, he rolled them, catching her underneath him and thrusting in deeper. The angle was off and strange, his weight pressed down against her breasts, but Kara couldn't help the moan that escaped her. He was pinning her fingers against her, too.

She stroked him and herself as he began moving, hips jerking in a rhythm that told her he was very close. Kara lifted her legs, hooking them over his, and pressed hard against her clit.

"Good girl," Sam murmured in her ear as her climax left her shaken and limp beneath him. He stopped moving for a moment, then kissed her ear. "If you wanna drop your legs, you can be on top again."

"Nah." Wriggling her fingers against him, Kara grinned as he gasped. She slowly pulled her hands out from between them, happy to feel him slip into her deeper without her fists blocking the connection. "I kinda like this." She arched against him. "C'mon, Sammy. You got left behind."

It took very little for Sam to climax, and when he did, he slumped against her, almost dead-weight.

"Sam." She huffed out a breath, then winced. "I can't breathe. Move."

"Mmph. Sorry." He struggled for a moment, then managed to roll to one side, groaning. "Gods. I can't feel my fingers, Kara."

She stretched, then grinned lazily at him, "I might be able to do something about that, now." Pushing up, she scrambled over him and made him lie on his stomach so she could kneel on the bed next to him. With sight involved, it was easier to see the knots and start working to get them apart. It still took her more than ten minutes of cursing and pulling and chipping her already short nails to finally get his arms and hands unbound.

A groan escaped Sam as the blood rushed back into his fingers. He rolled onto his back, letting his arms flop uselessly at his sides. "Gods. Thank you, Kara."

She poked him. "Now me."

He raised his eyebrows, "I don't know. You might be less trouble with your hands tied together."

"Asshole."

He grinned and then caught her hands before she could punch him. "Don't try anything you'd regret."

"Who says I'd regret it?"

A sigh escaped him and he yanked, making her lose her balance and sprawl across his chest. "Oof." His free hand smacked her ass once before he dropped it back to the bed and stared up at the ceiling.

Kara twisted to glare at him. "Untie me, Sam."

"Magic word, Kara."

"Frak you."

"Already did that, baby."

Growling, she rolled and elbowed him before presenting her hands to him again. "Untie me and maybe I won't break your frakking nose, Samuel."

"You're such a sweetheart, Kara." Sam murmured, taking her hands and beginning to work at the ropes on her wrists. Once she was free, he tugged her down against his chest and kissed her nose. "So. I hope you have a plan for how we're getting out of here."

"Nope." Kara patted his shoulder. "But I'm sure you'll think of something."

-f- 


End file.
